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The lukewarm beef croquette

Belonging

He walks out of the coffee shop. I don’t think the boy in the beige parka jacket isn’t more than 25 years old.

On his face, you can read the mishmash of freshness – because he’s still young – and tired eyes because of the long nights out, alcohol, and probably weed. He looks around a bit skittish, and then leans over to the security guard standing in front of the coffee shop door.

“Ah, just one ciggy with you, John,” the boy says extra cheerfully. “That’s tradition.”

“That’s true,” the security guard mutters, taking his smokes out of this jacket. The security guard is somewhere around the age of 55. A quiet man in his usual black suit with the silver V pin, who apparently doesn’t value this “tradition” as much, but who does play along with the boy.

The security guard offers the boy a cigarette from his own package and together they chat about how busy it is and how tough things are. The nervous kid relaxes visibly, laughing loudly at the older security guard’s remarks.

Feeling at home in the dire cold, at 00:30 at night on the doorsteps of a coffee shop.

“Belonging,” we all want that. One of the first human needs that we often don’t express. Because we’re tough and independent and stuff.

But something we do all need and crave.

“Belonging” is expressed in small rituals: sharing a cigarette, the banter jokes at the coffee corner, using the same strange terms, abbreviations, and all kinds of other business stuff.

And sometimes it just doesn’t work that well, belonging together. Then you’ve lost it for a moment.

A few years ago, there was a very relatable advertisement from, I think, Randstad or something. It said: Do those stupid jokes at the coffee corner and the lukewarm beef croquettes in the canteen suddenly annoy you? Maybe it’s time to leave…

Sometimes that’s true, then it’s time to say goodbye. And sometimes not at all!

Are you in one of those moments of just not feeling like having lukewarm beef croquettes, but is saying goodbye a bridge too far? Are you curious about what else could possibly be different in your team? Then go have someone conduct a good team analysis. Take a look here: https://www.deteamcoach.nl/analyse-advies/

If you make sure there are lukewarm beef croquettes and silly jokes, I’d be happy to drop by for a preliminary exploratory talk, without any fuss, without an invoice.

Red lipstick

Coordinate

I saw her sitting behind the wheel with her long, blond hair. She leaned in a bit and seemed to gently move along with something. Her perfectly made-up face with red lips looked delighted at the cars in front of her.

Cars creeping forward towards the exit.

Cars I saw as big, chunky obstacles on my way to my destination.

But not her! The big red lips slowly parted, forming words.

She didn’t have any earpieces in. She didn’t have that stressed frown on her face so many people can have when they need to make a quick phone call while they’re in the car.

She seemed happy. She had a big smile on her face and sometimes she’d close her eyes for just a brief moment, as if she was drawing from something that was fluttering in her belly.

I turned on the radio Toyed with my pre-programmed buttons. And suddenly I heard it: “When the sun goes down and the band won’t play… I’ll always remember us this way.”

The words those red lips next to me so carefully formed came from the radio. I could almost literally read the intensity of the music in the softly, squinted eyes and delighted smile of the blondie in the car next to me. And I could feel her joy when I started singing along with Lady Gaga.

Tuning in. That’s what it does. A connection so you can feel, taste, understand what the other means. It’s so much more than just the word. And sometimes we’re so completely lost. We don’t understand a thing the other person’s red lips are saying.

Do you want to work on tuning in with your team again? Do you want to see those red lips again instead of just a line-up of cars? Have you lost the ability to really listen to each other? Call me on 06-41335607 and I’ll be happy to visit, without any hassle, without an invoice, and of course with beautiful red lips! For more information, go to https://www.deteamcoach.nl/teamcoaching/